Weekly Movie Moan


Olympics is over, time to start watching films again. Well, until the new season of dramas start…

Monday – Panic Button
A bit of an adventurous film – a horror/thriller set on a private jet. Apart from a couple of scenes at the beginning and end of the film, this is predominately set in two rooms of an airplane – cabin and toilet. And it’s a British movie, which always brings its own charm. Unfortunately it’s a very average film featuring an unknown cast finished off with a naff ending. Avoid.

Friday – Killer Elite
Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, Jason Statham. Two great actors and one meathead. This film is based on the 1991 novel The Feather Men by Sir Ranulph Fiennes, and it does not disappoint. Focused around exSAS servicemen and set in the early eighties, Owen and Statham play their roles superbly. The nostalgia is spot on with a plethora of vintage early Eighties cars featured – MK2 Escorts, Cortinas, Minis, old Jags. Plus there’s a quality fight scene between Owen and Statham. Worth the Box Office rental fee alone.

On a separate note, Clive Owen should’ve been Bond.

Friday – The 40 Year Old Virgin
The funniest comedy, ever. No arguments, this is the funniest. Steve Carrell is brilliant (as are all the other actors) but Seth Rogan and Paul Rudd steal the show for me. An hilarious double act. Never tire of watching this film.

Saturday – Truth of Dare
Another British horror/thriller – two in one week! Sky must’ve bought a job lot this month. This was similar to Panic Button in that the main bulk of the film is set in one location – an old cabin out in the woods. Revenge, confessions, torture, fingers getting shot off, battery acid… I can only imagine this kind of thing goes on all the time down south.

Saturday – Fast and Furious
I love watching these movies. Great soundtrack, cars, locations, chases and races – what more can you ask for? The original is still my favourite. My only niggle is with some of the cars. You have an awesome car, tripped out with a boot full of nitro – why then do you get the car sprayed a ridiculously garish colour and add shitty vinyls to it? Some of the cars look mint, but most look bloody awful. If you rolled in to Tesco car park on a Saturday night in one of these racers you would get a slap.

Saturday – Faster
Don’t you just love it when you unearth a gem? It’s a miserable Saturday afternoon and you stick a movie on not expecting a great deal. Two hours later, you have been thoroughly entertained and you forgot it was pissing it down outside. Who would’ve thought it from a Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson film?

Saturday – XXX
Just utter nonsense really. I like Vin Diesel but this must be his worse film ever. Not surprised he passed up on the sequel.

Saturday – The Human Centipede (The First Sequence)
If there was ever a film I wish I could go back in time and unwatch, this would be it. All I knew about this film before I watched it was that it was controversial – which wasn’t going to deter me off watching it. Oh. My. God! This has got to be the most disturbingly, sickest film I have ever watched. I watched it before bed on Saturday night and I was glad I’d been drinking otherwise I probably would’ve stayed awake all night trying to deconstruct it my mind. That didn’t stop me thinking about it pretty much all day Sunday. As a horror movie, it has to be commended on doing its job – it certainly is horrific. This film takes what Saw and Hostel did and has raised the bar on sickness to a whole new level. It’s little wonder that there are disturbed fuckers out there when films like this are being made. I remember seeing A Nightmare on Elm Street at my next door neighbour’s when I about 11 and it gave me nightmares. If an 11 year old ends up watching a film like this, who knows what potential damage it could do. Yes, there’s have always been video nasties and banned films but I just can’t understand why anyone would want to make a film like this? I suppose ‘artistic’ film writers and directors feel its easier to make a name for themselves by sickening and revolting audiences than entertaining them.

Sunday – The Recruit
Is it me or does Al Pacino overact in every recent film he has done? Don’t get me wrong, I like Al and I especially enjoyed his performance in Heat but I just feel he over does it at times. Kind of like “Hey, I’m Al Pacino and I’m going to act the living shit out of this scene”. Shame really coz this film would’ve been pretty good had Al not tried to steal every scene he was in.

Monday – Love and Other Drugs

Categories : Films, TV

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